We've been warning you about the impending cookie shortage for years, but you never listened. Now, it's time to face the facts: the cookie supply is dwindling, and it's all because of the nefarious Cookie Cartel.
But fear not, dear citizens! Our team of expert cookie prognosticators has been working tirelessly to predict the exact date and time of the Cookie Apocalypse. And we're here to guide you through the crisis with our expert advice and services.
Get your daily cookie horoscope! Read your personal cookie fortune! Get cookie crisis advice from our experts! Consult our cookie-baking experts!The Cookie Crisis is upon us! Stay informed, stay prepared, and above all, STAY COOKIE-WARE!
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